Jim Fannin Blog

What a concert!  I had waited weeks to see Earth Wind & Fire and Chicago in person.  At the Allstate Arena in Chicago legends from decades ago combined forces to rock the house.  The crowd was alive and in the moment.  With center seats in the second row I could see champions of music get in the Zone as they performed hit after hit.

 As the concert neared its finale, ushers let fans move toward the stage.  There… a man with graying hair moved with the beat with his young daughter in his arms.  He helped her onto his shoulders and the sax player from Chicago grasped her tiny hand while flickering a welcoming smile.  I barely noticed. “Nothing out of the ordinary,” I thought.

 However, this father was different. He was overly attentive to his daughter’s every need.  He stroked her hair.  He looked into her eyes. It was obvious now that he was here just for her. Then he sat down in the front row and rubbed her aching legs.  Cerebral Palsy had crippled this young fan of rock but it did not take her spirit away.  She smiled as her father picked her back up and they continued dancing to every beat. 

 Suddenly this proud papa turned around and our eyes met.  I lip-synched, “you are a great father.”  A quick tear came to his eye and he nodded, “thank you.”

 True champions are amongst us.  They remain alone in the crowds.  These are great fathers, mothers, friends, soul mates and siblings.  They soar higher than the greatest athletes and business icons. They balance life’s many arenas.  The price is never too high. They go above and beyond the normal in all they do.

 It was difficult for this father to maneuver the crowd with a handicapped child.  You could tell he had done this many times before.  He has made up his mind that nothing would stand in the way of his daughter’s passion for living.  Nothing.

 The concert was awesome!  But not as awesome as witnessing a true champion in the crowd.

 Sixteen years of formal education are now under your belt. Thousands of hours of homework, tests, projects and tons of fun are all behind you. Now that you’ve climbed the sixteen stories of formal education, you are standing outside the building with your feet on the ledge looking out over a world of opportunity. When you jump, will you fly? Will you soar? Or will you plummet into a job of futility and mediocrity? Never before in our history has the world looked so bleak from college graduate’s eyes. 

Here are 13 lessons that you’ll need to learn swiftly in order to soar above the crowd.

1. Harness your ego: There are 2 performance mentalities: ego-based and growth-based. Ego-based leaders and workers have a sense of entitlement. They judge and compare. Improvement is moderate at best with this type of mentality. Growth-based minds improve daily. They have eliminated jealousy and the role of the victim. This mentality has a thirst for learning. They only have one motto: “I’m improving… everyday.”
2. Look the part: Take every dime you have and invest in a success wardrobe. The last thing that you want to look like is a college student. Seek guidance from an expert. You don’t need to dress where the CEO dresses, but you need to come close. Purchase shoes that the CEO would wear. You’re not trying to look cool; you’re trying to look polished, savvy and ambitious. Let your wardrobe reflect self-discipline, concentration, optimism, relaxation and enjoyment. Stand out with your mind, not your wardrobe. I think every graduation gift should be cash and clothing gift certificates. The more you dress up the more you will take yourself seriously. Remember: you’re not trying to get a job- you’re trying to get a career.
3. Dress rehearse every day: “I’ve never had a day that I haven’t already had.” Make that quote your new motto. Plan by relaxing and quieting your mind the night before. Mentally create a short, macro-movie of the next day. See three items you will accomplish. See them in finished state, using all your faculties of sight, touch, smell, taste and feel to help create a realistic movie. See it as it will be.
4. Work backwards: See the end result first. Then illuminate a reverse pathway from B to A. Now walk on the pathway as if it’s so. If you get off track at any point, you will now have a path to find your way back. This is where you must be relentless and persistent in moving towards your vision of a successful career.
5. Influence minds: What do you want the interviewer to think when you walk away from the office? Understand that your thoughts influence his or hers. What do you want your boss to think every day about you when you’ve left the job? What these people think about you when you’re not there is your biggest quest. You need to be inquisitive and interview the interviewer about his/her company. In addition, ask your superior questions about how he/she makes money.
Understand how you’re an integral part of something greater than yourself. Being inquisitive in a positive way will set you apart from the rest. Take notes wherever possible. Journal each day you had at the workplace as well as your interviews. With this mindset, you will begin to influence the thoughts of the people that can make a difference in your career.
6. Respect: Earning respect takes a long time. Losing it can occur within a second. But the best way to garner respect in the workplace is to give respect to the people who came before you. Understand the history and traditions of the company. Be respectful of the processes that are in place- do not take them for granted. And do not judge them without contemplation. Be mindful of manners and protocol. It’s little things that earn respect. Stand up when someone enters your work space. Look people in the eye within the first 90 seconds that you greet them. Listen without interrupting. Nod in understanding their point of view; you may not agree, but acknowledge that you understand. When you increase your respect within a company, your paycheck will rise proportionately.
7. Pay attention to detail: Be the MVP of the office by making everyone better. It’s ok to let others have the credit.
8. Become an expert: We’re still in a supply and demand world. Volunteer for every project in a company. Learn everything from top to bottom. When your passion is ignited, you may have found your path of expertise. This is where you hone your skills.
9. Do your homework: When the work day is finished, your job has just begun. Research everything about the competition, the company, its history, its customers. Do your due diligence. Study. Study. Study. This is how you short-cut the need for experience.
10. Launch your network: Memorialize everyone you meet in the workplace. Keep great records of everyone you meet in interviews, your parents’ friends, your teachers’ recommendations, class project group members and anyone else that’s already in the business world. This will be your gold mine during the next 20 years. Stake your claim to each of these contacts and find a reason to get in touch with them on a regular basis.
11. Beware of Social Media: Yes it’s the new form of communication and you are one of its experts. However, for every buddy or friend that goes to your page, a vice president or CEO can equally do the same. You’re not in college any more. Avoid the obvious: profanity, off-color innuendos and pictures of you in a sombrero with four semi-nude babes from Cabo.
12. Balance your life: All work and no play will make you a dull person. And all play will put a ceiling on your success in the workplace. Segregate your life into stand alone arenas or containers. Have a vision, goals and corresponding tasks for each. Spend time with family, friends, co-workers and not least importantly, yourself. Take time just for you. Treat yourself like a champion with regular exercise, good nutrition and a lot more rest than you received in college.
13. Keep your chin up: Try this exercise. Shut your eyes and think of a negative thought as you drop your head to your chest. (Throughout the exercise your eyes will be shut.) With a negative thought still in your mind, raise your head to the ceiling. Now drop your head back down to your chest. Repeat one more time.
75% of everyone who has tried this exercise has reported that when their head went up, either the negative thought went away or you had to reconfigure it to make it clear. However, when your head dropped, the negative thought was very robust, clear and vibrant. If you experienced this, understand that Mom and Dad were right: Keep your chin up. By starting at the bottom of the rung within any company, you will be hit with negatives on a regular basis: poor management, confusing communication, lack of clarity, over-zealous and pompous bosses, tyrannical managers and a ridiculously low paycheck coupled with a monstrous workload. To survive the rough seas of a workplace, keep your chin up. For every negative that hits you, your knee-jerk reaction should be to raise your chin.

When times are tough and thoughts proportionately increase, many of us go into fetal position in order to sequester ourselves against any hardship. This defensive state may protect a few assets, but in the long run it will lead to your demise. Without being foolish, realize that good fortune favors the bold.

Do I get frustrated with my significant other?  Never.
Am I impatient with her? Never.

Well… there is one time that maybe I do.  It’s the *&#*$ remote control.  When it’s in her hands, it’s as if an alien takes over her body.  She will change channels with the speed of an auctioneer on a triple espresso latte.  The amazing thing is that she can make decisions on whether to watch something or not within 5 seconds.  The other amazing thing is that within 5 seconds I can get locked into the program with all of my mental faculties only to have the images ripped out of my mind with the flick of the remote control.

Ok, this frustrates me!

Of course couples love to be with each other every minute of every day.  But every now and then we need our space to do what we need to do.  And on occasion, I need to watch sports and she needs to watch A&E.  Obviously, we need two TVs in two separate places of the house.  No remote problems here… or so I thought.

On this particular night, I was enjoying watching LeBron and the Cleveland Cavaliers dismantle the Atlanta Hawks.  In another room, she was watching a Cold Case File about a grizzly murder that had remained unsolved.  Ahh… my own remote control.  Peace, tranquility and locked in the Zone as LeBron goes to the hole for a patented dunk.  And just before his coup de grace, the station changed by itself to a detective trying to solve a twenty year old cold case.  WHAT?!

I look around to see if my wife was crawling on her hands and knees behind the couch with the remote control changing the channels.  No one was there.  I turned back to the game.  LeBron’s by the three point line with two men on him.  He goes up for the shot… back to A&E… the TV mysteriously switches.  Noooooooooo!

Ok, this is not funny!

I go upstairs and find my wife in the bedroom munching chips with guacamole watching A&E.  “Did you come downstairs?” I demanded.

“No why?”

“Are you sure you didn’t come downstairs and change the channel?”

“What do you mean me?  You’ve been changing the channels.”

“What?  I’ve been changing the channels?  Are you nuts?”

“Yeah I’m watching A&E and right when the case is about to be solved the TV switches to a basketball game.”

We both look outside our windows to see if some phantom has a universal remote and is changing our channels.  Is the cable company playing some kind of a joke?

We call our local TV guru and ask about the mysterious channel changing problem.  After forking out a service charge here’s what he said.  “Your remotes were programmed on the same radio frequency so that when one changes the channel on one TV it changes the channel on the other.”

To that my wife asks, “You really didn’t trust me, did you?”

“Yes, honey, I trusted you.”

“But you accused me of doing something I didn’t do” she said with a look of grave disappointment. “And you were mean!”

“You’re right.  I’m sorry.  I don’t know why I would accuse you.”

I wonder if that murder case was ever solved.  She watches that show a lot.  Do you think she’d ever know how to cover one up?  Maybe we do need to watch TV together.  I’ll even let her have the remote.

Growing up, I knew my Dad was always right…  and most of the time he was.  Of course, growing up I wanted to be just like my Dad.  Therefore, even today, I am always right.

I have been going to the racetrack since I was a little kid.  Attending the Kentucky Derby, especially because that’s where I’m from, has always been a big deal.  This year, I found myself scouring the racing forms.  This can be quite complicated, but with the skills and precision of a scientist, I figured out who would win.  I believed and expected it to happen based on previous experience that I am always right- even on something so unsure as gambling on which horse could run around the track ahead of the rest.

With my cash in one hand and racing form in another, I got up from the table to place my Derby bet.  I was confident, full of a sense of knowing and assuredness- just like my Dad.  Acorns, you know, don’t fall far from the tree.

I turned to my wife to ask, “Who are you picking to win?”

She replied, “The long shot.  I just have a gut feeling.”

“Are you nuts?!  That’s 50 to 1!  There hasn’t been a long shot to win the Derby in over 50 years!  I just hope you don’t bet much.”

And with that I proceeded to the betting window.

Boy, did my ego get squashed!  As the 50:1 long shot, Mine That Bird, won- seemingly by a mile with no other horse in site- I turned to my wife.  She was celebrating like a crazy person while holding up her winning ticket.  She shot me a look, clearly telling me that intuition overrides knowledge, experience and wisdom.  It’s amazing how a quick look can give so much detail.

And to think, I coach intuition, believe in it and have a razor sharp one.  However, I did not listen to it this day.  The power of the racing forms and my way out of control ego made me overlook the obvious.

As she came back to the table with 5 crisp $100 bills, I asked her, “Are we splitting that?”

And her response was, “Not on your life… there are 2 more races left.  Go back to your racing forms.”

It’s at this time of year that I reflect on my mother.  I probably took her for granted for most of my formative years.  It’s only after she’s been gone from this earth that I have come to realize her true impact on molding me to be the man I am today.

I miss her presence in my life so much that I would give up all my earthly possessions just to have Mother’s Day brunch with her one more time.  If I could, this is what I would say:

From the moment I took my first breath you were there….smiling ever so bright. Your voice soothed me. Your touch guided and comforted me. You were the first person I saw when I opened my eyes and the last person when I fell asleep. You coached me day after day to be the best I could be.

After all these years I’ve realized the motherly impact on my life. All my decision-making abilities were initiated with your care and concern. You molded my manners and hygienic routines. You coached my ability to communicate. Most of all you filled my mind with possibilities. My dreams have been fueled by your belief in me.

You placed me on a pathway of ultimate self-discipline. You yelled, pleaded, begged, demanded, punished, rewarded, hugged and kissed your ways of living into the fabric of my mind. My decision-making ability today was born and reared by you.

You helped me focus my energies on the tasks at hand and made me realize when I was off-track. You planted seeds of belief, expectancy and knowing that have grown into the confident person that I am.

You let me fail many times only to pick me up after the lesson was learned. These moments were your greatest gifts. Through my failings and your guidance I learned the dynamics of risk and reward that I still use today.

Mom, you taught me about family and tradition and I value them because of you. You made the holidays special and they radiate in my memory like they were yesterday.

You have been behind the scenes in the reality movie of my life. You were the producer and director. You helped me write and re-write the script. With every chapter of my life that ended you were always there at the beginning of the next one. And through each page until now you have never asked for credit. You always let me be the star. Your sacrifices most of the time went un-noticed and not once did you complain or demand attention.

I placed you on a roller coaster of emotions as you watched me grow. Even though I tested you in every way, your intuition never wavered in its relentless pursuit of my well-being. Today I see this as nothing short of amazing.

You were at every major event in my life. You cheered for me when I was failing and you beamed with pride when I was a success. You have been the one constant in a world of variables. Your consistency is remarkable.

Now I know why the biggest and toughest athletes always say, “Hi Mom” to the camera when they appear on national television.

Mom…you are the world’s greatest coach. I love you and thank you.

Lahoma Fannin Crouch
(5/7/26-8/29/98)