Jim Fannin Blog

Having studied the power and dynamics of thought for the majority of my life, I have learned to read them through three sets of cues or tells.  With a shift in your focus you will be able to do the same. Now you’ll have the power to see and feel the truth…especially with your man.

In order to lie, a person has to have a conscious thought.  This conscious thought immediately sets off three simultaneous reactions.  They are:
1.    Physical
2.    Emotional
3.    Intuitive

Learning the physical reactions to the thoughts of your significant other is the easiest when you know his different “tells.”  Being fully aware of your man’s reactions will only be accomplished when you set aside your emotions and your preconceived notions.  Although many people can mask physical reactions, with an acute awareness some signals will get through.

Here is a list of physical reactions of a liar after being asked a direct question:
1.    Looks up to his right and or touches the right side of his head or neck. He’s creating the answer.  High probability of NOT telling the truth.
2.    Looks up to his left and or touches the left side of his head or neck. He’s searching his memory. High probability of telling the truth.
3.    Crosses his arm before he answers. This indicates defensive posture.  He is NOT pleased with the question.  High probability of stall tactics forthcoming.
4.    Answers the question with initial high-pitched voice. Most children give this one away.  He’s caught!
5.    Answers with a cracked voice. He’s caught!
6.    Touches or rubs his nose just before or while answering. Not good! High probability of NOT telling the truth.
7.    Looks down from your gaze.  He is in defensive submission.
8.    Reverses the question. Classic defense that is used to buy time.  High probability that you will not get a straight answer.  Omission of detail usually comes next.
9.    Changes the subject. Common defensive maneuver.  Most let him off the hook.  You decide.
10.     Grabs or clears his throat before or during answer. He feels very threatened.  Not a good sign!

Bonus Tips:
A. In front of other women he touches or fidgets with his wedding ring. This indicator say’s there is HIGH probability he’s having thoughts that he would NOT want you to know.
B. Intuition, which arrives as a gut feeling, is real time information that you’re conscious mind does not possess. It usually whispers to you and only once.  LISTEN TO YOUR INTUITION. Its accuracy is uncanny.  More importantly act on it.

If you want to turn your significant other into an honest man, start with yourself.  Be honest with him.  Tell him how you feel- not just what you think.  When he asks you if you’re ready, instead of saying, “In a minute,” tell him the truth that it’s going to be more like 20 minutes.  When people can lie on the little things, it’s a short hop away from the big things.

So the next time when the phone rings and you’re in the shower, don’t holler to him, “Tell her I’ve left.  I’m on my way, I’ll be there shortly.”  When your Mother calls and he answers the phone don’t mouth the words, “Tell her I’m not here.”  You’ve let him know that lying is ok when it’s convenient.  Make it clear your importance of honesty.  Brandish this word and deeds on a regular basis.  Lying is lying.  Honesty is honesty.

All of my clients have been trained in my S.C.O.R.E.® Performance System.  It is a thought management system for honest communication with yourself and others.  This includes being a great friend, spouse, son or daughter, sibling and yes… a best friend to themselves.  Honesty must blanket all life arenas.

For more information go to http://www.jimfanin.com.